This coming week I turn 31 years old and that has me feeling, well… old.
If you’ve been following along then you’ve noticed that I’ve been publishing less blogs (compared to past years) and that’s just a function of shifting priorities. I’m still writing for me, just not as much for the world and that feels good.
This blog is me reflecting on thoughts that I’ve been sitting with as I enter the coming birth year. While the following is unpolished and meant for me, I’m sharing incase it helps you too!
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With each passing year, I feel less sure about what “I know” because the world has humbled me yet again. In other words, experience is teaching me that there are exceptions to almost every rule and that we (as humans) attempt to make sense of the world through assumptions based on our limited perspectives.
To make it plain – there’s A LOT that I don’t know and coming to peace with that feels like a win.
Despite having no clue about most things, here are some things that I’m pretty sure about.
In general, human beings are made to build things and we are at our best when we are working toward meaningful goals that require effort. On the path toward building the life we want, there will be obstacles, challenges and adversities. There is so much outside of our control and in order to find peace, we need to learn how to surrender the things that we cannot change. Our growth requires that we handle hard things because there is no strength without struggle. The path to success is littered with failures and the in time we will realize that these “failures” were not the opposite of success, but stepping stones toward it. The ultimate failure is to give up on the things that matter most to us. There are few things more powerful than relentless effort applied in the same direction over a long period of time. Few people will ever realize the power of persistence because we’ve been conditioned to seek instant gratification. Our attention spans are dwindling and those who can maintain the skill of focus will have a competitive advantage over everyone else. I’m convinced that time is not our most valuable resource but instead, it’s what we do with our time that holds the value; it’s our attention that we need to protect. Speaking of protection, setting boundaries and learning to say “no” to distractions disguised as opportunities is something that most people suck at. The truth is that life isn’t as complicated as we make it out to be. Most things are simple, not easy. However, life tends to feel more complicated when we commit ourselves to things that don’t align with where we want to go or who we want to become. We find ourselves saying “yes” to so many things that our words start to lose their value because we over promise and under deliver. When our actions don’t back up our words, we have nothing to say. Strive to do the opposite and everything gets easier; under promise and over deliver. The current of the world around us is strong and for most of us, subconscious. There are people, companies, ideas, etc. fighting for our attention at all times. We need to be willing to swim upstream, against the current of what’s popular, convenient and comfortable if we want more than average. In other words, excellence is an act of rebellion against that current. While we fight for what we want, we might notice at first that we’re alone; everyone else is going with the flow and life seems easier that way… it’s not. No matter who you are, life is hard and it’s up to us to choose our hard. We can choose to do hard things now or we can be forced to deal with other hard things later. Remember, hard isn’t bad and easier doesn’t make you stronger. We don’t have to sacrifice all of ourselves for those around us. There’s enough time (if we don’t waste it) to be selectively selfish in order to be sustainably selfless. We need to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of those around this because as much as we might feel like the center of the universe, we are not. While we might be the center of our own universe, we are all connected and we are all fighting the same things beneath the surface. Each one of us in on a rollercoaster ride, navigating the many emotions of the human experience. While our rides might look different, they’re more similar than we might realize. Furthermore, we have no idea what other people are struggling with and remember, life is hard, so be gentle to others and with ourselves. When possible, make an effort to lift others up and remember that this life is so much bigger than just us. Time can move fast if we’re not careful to slow it down with intention. While things move quick and life feels short, there’s more time than we imagine when it comes to growth. The combination of urgent short term action paired with a patient long term view is powerful and compound interest is underrated; little by little, little becomes a lot. There are times when life will feel overwhelming, just take a breath and remember that you have time and all that we need to do in any given moment is one thing… do the next right thing. The ego will lead you down the wrong path more often than not and accomplishment means nothing without people to share it with. While outcomes can feel exciting (and there’s nothing wrong with goals), the process is what matters more because it’s in the pursuit that we learn, grown and experience life. Learn to control the language that you use and the rest of life will improve. Being intentional with words is a simple way to start shaping the narrative of our life rather than drifting along and no one drifts to excellence. There’s a lot of power in reflecting, observing, discussing, etc. but nothing changes without action. In other words, nothing changes if nothing changes. While taking action might stir up fears, the truth is that imperfect action is often better than perfect inaction. It’s also important to add that “ready” is a decision, not a feeling. The conditions will never be perfect and we must stop waiting for things to be better before taking ownership over our lives. It’s easier than ever to get ahead and all it takes is a few simple things. Be good to people, add value in every interaction, be consistent in the efforts you give, protect your energy, play the long game and don’t stop. It feels like I could continue writing forever but I won’t. The last thing that I want to share is something that has taken me 31 years to feel comfortable sharing. While there are many things that I’m pretty sure about, I wouldn’t be who I am without God and there’s one thing that I’m sure about; Jesus is king and there’s nothing worth pursuing without Him.
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If you stuck around until end, I want to thank you for your time and attention. Over the years, writing has been an important outlet for me as I pursue growth and I’m so grateful to have people like you to share it with.
“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.”
T. E. Lawrence
Do hard things.
Joe Rinaldi
IG: @joearinaldi
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