I’m making an effort in 2023 to keep things concise without losing the message, so this will be short.
This blog is about a season of life that I don’t talk about often but one that can help someone else.
Rewind a few years and this picture would have NEVER EVER made it to the internet because I wasn’t lean enough – I felt fat.
It sounds crazy but it’s true.
From 2012 to 2018 I dealt with some serious body image issues and felt very alone. I saw myself through a distorted lens (I think we all do) and fitness (and food) was more about controlling an appearance than anything else. There was a period of time where I spent 20+ hours exercising each week to fend off every ounce of fat, where I avoided social situations because I couldn’t control the food, where I weighed everything that went into my body so there was no room for error and where no matter how much I did, I felt disgusted each time that I looked in the mirror because it wasn’t good enough.
I’m sharing this because there are people reading this who are struggling with similar things – always chasing more and never feeling like you’re never enough.
During this season of life, there was nothing that anyone could tell me that would change how I felt. Looking back, I can only imagine how hard it must have been for my parents to see me struggling and refusing to change.
The good news is that somewhere in 2018, the need for control melted away and I no longer struggle with those things above. Fitness has become an avenue for personal growth and if I’m being honest, food is an afterthought to all of the other important things that full up a hectic schedule (relationships, business, impact, etc.). The truth is that I still wouldn’t feel like enough if I didn’t know Jesus and that’s the truth for ME (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
In the end, we need to recognize that life is bigger than us; we are each small but not insignificant. We are so much more than our looks, accolades and possessions. That realization is both freeing and empowering – we are each enough as we are and we can (and should) continue to strive for better not because we need to but because we can. Don’t confuse worth with the work.
If you’re reading this and struggling with anything like I was, please don’t hesitate to reach out (I mean that). For now, I hope that you can feel ever just a little bit encouraged that where you are right now is not where you’ll be forever. Reaching out for help is one of the strongest things that you can do – you’re not alone.
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